Like Pulling Teeth

by Milton A. Delaney, III
(Waldorf, MD)

You know, I could sit all day and think long and hard and never come up with any real complaints about my mother. That is, unless you consider the con game she pulled on us as kids when we had teeth that were ready to come out.

My mother knew that we wouldn't sit still long enough for her to pull our teeth out so she'd trick us into submitting to the "Great Tooth Robbery" by means of trickery.

"Come here and let me see that tooth,", she'd say.
"No! You're going to pull it out! It's going to hurt!", we'd whine.

"I'm not going to pull it out. I just want to see how loose it is.", she'd explain.

Just like the lambs being lead to slaughter, we'd draw closer with trepidation. Ma would wiggle the tooth a little and before we knew it, we had one less tooth to brush. With the swiftness of a Cobra, Ma would grasp that tooth and snatch it clean out!

There'd be no real pain, only the sting of being duped by your own mother! Each time we had a loose tooth, Ma would use this "Jedi Mind Trick" on us and we'd fall for it every time!

There were also times when Ma would use the "fear" angle. She'd tell us that the tooth HAD to come out right then or the new tooth would grow in upside down and each time we chewed our food, we'd bite ourselves. We'd give in every time! Ma would tie a string around the tooth and tell us to look away. One good yank and we were whistling Dixie!